Category: Singles Spit Swap
Title says it all. Why?
As for me: I am difficult person to deal with. I am nice but a little too blunt
and don't hold back when I should haha.
Your turn. Don't be shy.
Because I won't settle for a load of childish pain in the ass boys.
I know I will come across someone who makes me feel important, desired and who will make me feel worthy.
They will make me feel safe, loved, wanted, respected. Someone who I will trust, love, enjoy spending time with and feel comfortable around.
someone who I will not feel the need to hide things, guard myself from their oppinions, put up walls waiting for our relationship to tumble. I won't feel the need to prepare for an evacuation from them.
I will love them, enjoy being around them, feel safe, happy and charished by them.
Someone that despites our past, we are our now and forever.
We will listen to one another and work things out and not turn in to children fighting, Someone who I can openly communicate with and express my feelings, thoughts, needs and desires.
I will not settle for less.
Was that a single adds Nicky?
Smile.
Okay, my pitifulness.
I’ve been married, so know the feeling.
I also find it is difficult for me to let go of my independence, and if I do, the situation must be a safe one, or I bulk.
I’m afraid of taking the chance on a mistake, because they take too long to recover from. When I was younger this didn’t seem important, I never thought about how important your mate was to your overall success in life. I can find dates or companions, so maybe that is the issue in a nutshell.
If you have a companion, or someone to have a meal with and such, you don’t really need a live-in partner.
I’d love to be a couple fully again, but like the post above, I require someone with no issue about me.
I also have some opinions about love, sex, marriage and such that aren’t mainstream.
These aren’t weird, but they aren’t like the majority.
To find out more, date me.
Laughing.
Nicky, you said everything I want to say, but probably much better than I could have. Because I have so much to offer, I want to be cherished and loved completely in return. I would like to try again with someone, but will not settle for less than I deserve ever again. Matching should come naturally, or why bother? So far my heart and my head are just not on the same page. Maybe my expectations are too high,but there's a lot of fish in that big ocean. So this lady will be patient and keep fishing. Lol.
I really loved being married.
Its the way to live.
If I could just get past my issues, because I've had great proposals, well.
I'll say that, and leave it there.
Grin.
I miss being married too. But still won't settle for less than the best because I know now after 10 years of being single that I can live alone. It's not my preference to be alone, but until the right guy knocks me off my feet, I'll manage just fine.
I'm too independent, too hard headed, too intelectual, too opinionated, too passionate,
too rational as much as too emotional, too tough to deal with for 99.99% of the
population, and maybe 99.99.99% of the male population.
forereel
"Was that a single adds Nicky?"
No. I think I have found someone who makes me feel all like this, This is where my words have derived from.
lalady
"Nicky, you said everything I want to say, but probably much better than I could have."
Thanks
"Matching should come naturally,"
This is so true. You need to feel like it is ment to be, not forced.
"Maybe my expectations are too high,"
You know what you want and you will relize everything is perfect with all their flaws during that time.
"So this lady will be patient and keep fishing"
Do not settle. You will know when you found a good katch.
"being single that I can live alone"
I feel like living alone allows someone to learn who they are and with this knowledge, they can find someone who they work with. Living with others makes your self awareness a bit fogged. You can learn a lot about yourself when living with another too but you learn a lot when you are your own roommate.
PinaColada
"I'm too independent, too hard headed, too intelectual, too opinionated, too passionate,
too rational as much as too emotional, too tough to deal with for 99.99% of the
population, and maybe 99.99.99% of the male population."
I feel you. I felt the same way and it takes someone special to make you feel like you can be all this and better with them.
I love the feeling of knowing I can be me, strong, independent and all but know I can be even more or just let someone else be for me at moments without losing myself.
Losing myself is what I flee from. I need to be with someone I can be me and more with them. When I feel like I have to sacrifice myself, my ways, my emotions to please someone else is when I know it is not good to be with them.
If being with someone and doing what I can to make their day a better one also makes my day better too, then that is amazing. But having to take away from myself and barry myself to give to someone else is not.
Giving to someone is worth it if they make it worth it. They too have to give.
Cuz no one's lookin' to date a deaf/blindy.
Agree with Poster #9
well, I was single because I don't like to look after people, and a lot of past girlfriends wanted a babysitter.
I was waiting for someone who didn't put all of the financial strain on me. Call me selfish, but you live with me and date me? you put money on the table for bills. but for real though, having a woman who doesn't mind comeing out of her pocket sometimes is nice.
I used to have a real cheating problem, yes I don't care about typing it here. I had a lot of growing to do and still do.
For a while, I was sad because I have only really dated one sighted person in my life, but after growing a bit, dating a blind woman is easy because she just gets it, and I don't have to explain anything.
Because I don't like it when people move my things. Tiny, but I actually do lose my mind still if my partner moves something of mine and doesn't tell me.
mmm thought you said you got married Joanne?!
yes, indeed, i am married. i married to freedom, to developing countries, to humanity, to lovers, sweethearts, to my animals and everything else that i trasure. lol.
Laughing
Just pointing out one little thing. It is possible to be married and still single. Or single and actually married. The piece of paper means next to nothing. You are married only when you believe you are, and you are single when you have no true partner. I have met many people who are married on paper, but who are not married in any real sense. I have met many people who are legally single, but are married to another more truly than any preacher or justice of the peace could cause. Being single or married is a state of mind period.
been used and taken advantaged of too many times, don’t mind being single but would like to have a friend with benefits and no drama
I'm single for a couple of reasons:
1. First and foremost, I'm not in the absolute best place in life right now. I'm in the process of writing a book and in the process of getting back into school. I am currently living off the government and I hate it. I'm tired of it. But being in the process of things really isn't good enough. So okay, I listen well, I'm pretty attentive and can be quite affectionate and all that, so I think I might be good partner potential one day. But that day is not today. If the right woman came along and was okay with the fact that I'm rebuilding my life after pretty thoroughly wrecking it at least once already, then maybe. I don't want to be single forever. But for now, I'm working on me, and I think that's okay.
2. I used to have a very serious problem with shame. Shame, and fear of failure, and a healthy dose of self-loathing, caused me to lie under pressure. It happened more than once. Probably the most devastating example of it is that I lied for just shy of a year while engaged to a very good woman. Nobody knew, but a couple of family members suspected. I didn't cheat in the traditional sense; I lied about being in school because I'd failed and couldn't stand admitting it. I lost her, as is only fitting for such betrayal. If not for that, who knows where we'd be right now? We had plans, and I demolished them for reasons which, when looked back upon, still make me feel a little sick. This circles neatly back to the "working on me" bit. I quite obviously never want to do that to anyone again, much less to myself. Partners deserve far better than that, and I deserve to succeed if I try. So here I am. I'm trying.
That's why I'm single.
Wow Shepherd, that's pretty rough.
It is, sort of, but I didn't write it for sympathy or anything. Whatever my mental or emotional state, I still did those things. I still made those choices. I bought and paid for the consequences. Now I'm just trying to make sure that life is worth living, I guess. Once I'm a bit more firmly on that path, then yeah, I'll date again, if I can. I'm not so down on myself that I don't think I've got good points. I just need more than I've got if I want to be good life-partner material; I'm not really interested in flings or whatnot, so if and when I do get back into the whole dating thing, it'll hopefully be to settle down long-term.
Part of this, too, was therapeutic. I was told when I went to counselling early this year that one of the best ways to avoid problem behaviour was to own it, all the way down. I've done that. I'm a whole lot more transparent now than I once was. Anyone who wants to get close to me needs to know, eventually at least, that I've got baggage. I don't need to ambush them or tie them in knots later on.
Not that I have my eye on anyone here, specifically, but yeah. Admission is the first step toward conquering problems like these. Well, admission and contrition, and while I perform the former easily enough, I'm more than full up on the latter.
There is something inherently wrong in having to explain why you are single. Are married people asked to explain why they are married? Rarely.
There is nothing wrong with being single or unmarried, or married or with a partner and none require explaination as though admitting to guilt or flaw.
Well my reason for being single is because I haven’t found that special someone who
believes what I believe. First we should tell each other all are thoughts,feelings, and
doings in our everyday walk of life. Then through all trials and tribulations through this life
not only do we trust in God but we have faith in one another with no doubt in are mind.
Most of all not only be lovers but best friends. So what that means is love each other like
Jesus loved. So until an a angel who is pure,true,faithful,caring,sweet, and loving and
believes that Jesus is the definition of love is sent from above as a gift to me for being a
good Christian believer I shall not want a relationship. I pray you all will find true love.
Take care J.C.
VH, I responded here mostly out of a desire to be honest. Perhaps too honest. I didn't see the question as a philosophical indictment of any kind, but rather a curiosity. Hey, the reason for being single for some people boils down to "I'm trully happier this way", and if that's the case, then good on them, I say.
VH dear, I saw the question as fun.
I didn't really explain all my dirty, or clean laundry for that matter to why I'm single.
I don't feel bad because of it, and that's why, well, I'm single. Laughing.
I don't mean this as a negative to anyone on this topic, but getting married is pretty easy if you really want to be.
Staying married it the problem.
Most people feel they need to be, or should be headed to getting married soon as they are in a (serious) relationship.
Most are looking for the one, but often times the one turns in to 2 or 3, and well.
It is really nice having a partner, but it is even better having a best friend you can share absolutely anything with, and who will help you absolutely.
Now, were's that preacher.
Laughing.
shepherd greg, I think it takes a lot of courage for you to wrote what you have written. knowing the mistakes one made and learning from it is what is important. The best kind of relationship is to build from friendship, and to able to expose yourself fully to your partner regardless of what he or she might think. I always believe that, if someone does not accept you on your worse, that person is definitely don't deserve having you on your best. having a relationship is not just about sharing the good times, but more important, is about able to support each other during bad times.
I agree with you on that. Sometimes, we come up against someone at their worst that we just can't deal with. Maybe someone cheats, or lies for a long time, or has a substance abuse problem or anger management issue. Everyone has their triggers, stuff they just can't come back from, or don't want to try coming back from past a certain point.
Courage, in a case like this, can't be some timid halfway thing.
In any case, I'm sorry if I derailed the topic a little bit. That's not what I was aiming at.
I've lived alone for too long, for one. I have no self-confidence. But mostly, I always fall for people I can never truly have. Friends with benefits would be just fine with me. I want something more, deep down. I can't do the whole totally casual sex with strangers though. I at least need a friendship.
I agree with what Joanne said about building a relationship based on friendship first. For myself, I have noticed that after two divorces I take my time and may be even a little slow in forming a friendship that could lead to a relationship, probably due to safeguarding my heart. But once that friendship has taken root and begins to flourish and blossom,a person has the possibility of owning my heart and soul for as long as they want them. In my own personal experience, I have discovered that it is rare to find someone willing to allow me the flexibility to form that bond that I need. So far, I am not willing to take the risk of lowering my standards and possibly jeopardizing happiness for both of us.
Well then.
why are you Maried?
I would love to see the reasons. It is not going to be just full of love and happiness.
Kids,
money
and lots of reasons.
Some people who are, don't want to be married.
Also, I want a non-smoking atheist who doesn't want kids.
Are you saying all Atheist women smoke and want kids?
Well, I have tried dating just anybody and dating someone who just wasn't my type, but I wanted to be open-minded, and I'm single....probably for a long time...
I simply don't want to babysit, I'm not going to be disrespected because he has to go after every single girl that he finds hot, and I need more than conversation to stimulate me or I'll get bored, and become uninterested. Simply put, my standards are high, and I've tried ignoring the standards and it did not work. Until I find who I am looking for, I'm going to continue focusing on school, myself, and anything else that does not have to do with relationships.
I do not think he is saying that all smoke and wants kids.
I think he is saying something like,
Caramel Tall, hot, skinny...
Just like how I like my coffee!
He is just picking out qualities.
LOL but I am the complete opposite.
I want someone who is Christian, wants kids and I may tolerate some smoking if you're nice enough to do it outside.
thanks.
I could live with or near the right kind of person as long as we each had plenty of personal space. I can't think of any advantage in marrying them.
Hmm, why do I think I'm single? This is a great question. I think that maybe sometimes. I'm just scared to put myself out there because of rejection maybe. But also maybe it's my personality. Most ladies don't really want the laid-back, funny but serious guy as well. I also have some standards that's nothing crazy, but normal things.. I like a go-getter, someone who knows what she wants, intelligent, good head on her shoulders. I'm not the best at explaining these sort of things, so feel free to pick my brain. I cn't do the party girls either, I like someone who's a bit reserved, the one you can go out to the beach long walks with, etc. Maybe I'm just to old fashioned.
I'm mostly single because I tend to fall for guys who are either totally straight or just barely bi-curious, but who still vastly prefer women.